“For what it’s worth: it’s never too late to be who you want to be. I hope you live a life you’re proud of, and if you find that you’re not, I hope you find the strength to start all over again.”
-F. Scott Fitzgerald
Sorry for the unannounced hiatus, things have been crazy over the past two months and my mental health has been not so good. I’ve also taken some time to reevaluate my goals and some things going on in my life. So, I’m starting over. Things in my life are very rocky right now and I’m struggling to say the least. I leave for North Carolina in July and I’m definitely not where I thought I would be weight or body wise. I have been binging and compulsive eating to the max and it freaks me out. I feel so vulnerable in my own body all the time because every time I look in the mirror, what I see isn’t what I imagine myself looking like on the day to day.
Tomorrow I’m taking a huge step, I’ve made an appointment to see a dietitian and learn about some things to help me feel a little more comfortable around food, and if the disordered eating gets worse, I will make an appointment at the Melrose Center for eating disorders and see a nutritionist there and find answers to my questions and form a plan that works better for me.
On a positive note, I graduated from high school last week. I haven’t missed a single therapy appointment and I’m starting a workbook based DBT with my therapist and incorporating EMDR to help find some resolutions. I’ve also stared a workbook called The Chemistry of Joy, which has been going wonderful I will go deeper into it at a later date.